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Is being like Jesus compatible with being my authentic self?
Sometimes you’ll hear in Christian circles the idea of dying to self to become like Christ. For example the song Less Like Me by Zach Williams says:
A little more like mercy, a little more like grace
A little more like kindness, goodness, love, and faith
A little more like patience, a little more like peace
A little more like Jesus, a little less like meWhat Zach is saying in the first three stanzas of the chorus is that he wants to be more virtuous. What people sometimes call, “being your best self”. But the forth stanza equates that with being like Jesus instead of ourselves. I don’t have problem with that. In fact, I say the second zone of being a disciple has to do with “Likeness” — become like Jesus in our way of being.
Some of themes of self-denial and death in Christianity can get twisted in a community-conformity sort of way. “You need to me more like Jesus” and “you need to die to yourself” can be used to stuff people’s unique identity, needs, and legitimate desires in favor of personal or institutional agendas. Being like Jesus isn’t the death of individuality. It’s the fulfillment of it.
The problem is systemically one of size. If you, an unique person, are trying to be like someone else who is the same size, that’s not healthy. You’ll have to jettison what is truly you in order to get what they have. On the other hand, if you try to be like someone who represents so much more than you are now — like Jesus who represents complete humanity and infinite God — you can do so without loosing yourself. You can become all Jesus is because all that your true-self already is is already included. (The problem is one of “Size of Set”.)
That’s not to say that Christ is about the radical individualism that is derailing Western Society. Saying you want to be your true or best self is incredibly subjective and can be unhelpfully ambiguous especially in a world defined by selfishness and consumption. I think its safe to say that humans struggle to know what good is and how to love each other. Therefore, we need something less abstract to define our true or best self.
Jesus – as a person not an idea or image – gives some objectivity and definition to what a true or authentic person would be. Other people can do this too. In fact, Paul say “imitate me as I imitate Christ” (1 Cor 1:11). So its not wrong for a child to want to be like their parent, or for you to want to be like a mentor or, better yet, like a mentor who is like Jesus or God.
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