Loving people is easiest when they’re good, when they love us back, and when people are like us. It’s not wrong to love people when it’s easy, but just loving people when it is easy is not how God loves, and it isn’t the kind of love that changes people and changes the world.
Storge | Cozy, Cute Love
Love based on instinct, familiarity, and preference.
“My dog loves me.” “I love pizza.”
Sin: breaking expectations, violating preference
Righteousness: meeting expectations
Phileo | Sibling/Friend Love
Love based on similarity and co-identification.
“I got nothing but love for you, bruh”
Sin: betrayal of trust, loss of similarity
Righteousness: loyalty to “us”
Eros | Hot, Consuming Love
Love based on attraction and desire to possess.
“I don’t care about anything but you.”
Sin: loss of attraction, walls
Righteousness: intimacy
Agapé | Love to Righteousness
Love that invests itself based on right identity.
“I’m doing this because I believe in you.”
Sin: violation of identity and investment
Righteousness: investment to become
The Bible tells us that “God is love” (1 John 4:8) and the God loves the world (John 3:16). This love is agape love: based on who God is, he invests himself and all he has in us to make us into who we truly are. This is the kind of love that we practice to change lives and change the world: we invest our live in each other to be true to who we and they really are.
No one has greater love than this: somebody laying down their life for their friends.
John 15:13
Application 1: Deconstructing “Cool”
Camp exists in the larger context of Youth Culture. Since the 1920s, youth culture has been dominated by the concept of “cool” — though various words are used to describe it. Cool is the amount of social power a person has (or that a thing, attribute, or behavior can give to a person).
What does “cool” have to do with the four types of love?
Who defines what’s cool?
How could we shift the definition of cool to connect to agape love?
Application 2: What’s Bad and Good Behavior?
As a community, Camp has to define “pro-social” and “anti-social” behaviors. Pro-social or “good” behaviors contribute to a healthy and productive community. Anti-social or “bad” behaviors take away from a healthy and productive community. However, different communities have very different ideas about what is pro-social and anti-social.
How might the four types of love influence definitions of good and bad?
What would be different about correction and discipline from an agape definition?
What is the best incentive for good behavior in an agape-based community?